Benching Pats in the Blizzard

Well, I don't know about you, but I'm sitting here in Portsmouth NH looking out the window at this wicked Nor'Easter and thinking, "Yikes, I'm benching my Pats in fantasy football today." Of course for me, that only means Donte Stallworth, who I might've benched anyway since he's been eclipsed by Jabar Gaffney lately.

Maybe we'll get to see scenes like this one again today? God how I love snow games!

Oh, but I did also pick up Rodney Harrison based on his reemergence last week. He has always been a tackle-hound and a ball-hawk, and he's one Patriot I'm not benching. I'll play him in favor of Ellis Hobbs, who I still love, but without the kickoff return yardage, not so much. Anyway, I've got a hunch Harrison pops a ball loose and/or picks one up in the Winter Wonderland today.

Oh and speaking of HGH, let's talk briefly about...

The Mitchell Report

I always thought George Mitchell should've run for president. I have been a long-time fan of his politics, diplomacy, and grandfatherly/professorial demeanor. Despite all the obstacles he faced -- namely, hardly anybody would talk to him -- he put together a nice little report. The best part for me was his nailing of Fat Roger to the cross. When I heard he was a juicer, I was thrilled! Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. Bill Simmons feels vindicated, at least as much as Dan Duquette does. (For a brilliant, blow-by-blow explanation of Red Sox Nation's loathing of our once-favorite son, check out this Simmons piece from 2001.) Anyway, Roger's juicing sure explains a lot, like how his body went from flabby to buff after he left Boston, and how his stats got *better* as he aged (see Bonds, Barry), and why he threw so many hissy-fits on the field (e.g., inexplicably throwing Piazza's broken bat back at him).

Also interesting were the memos from Theo and his staff on Gagne and Donnelly (they're Juice Guys) were reprinted here in the Globe.

And the other interesting thing I took from the whole Mitchell Report thing was how Jose Canseco, juicer-cum-whistleblower, reacted. (Canseco was the first to float Clemens name as a ragin'-'roider, by the way.) Canseco said he was "shocked" that A-Rod's name was not in the report. But really, Clemens AND A-Rod getting taken down in one fell-swoop?! Following a World Series victory, I'm not sure Red Sox Nation could handle that level of joy!

Official Review, Take Three

You know what? The referees did an outstanding job, IMHO, in this week's Pats-Steelers game. Shocking, I know, but it's true. I'm giving them their props right here and now.

The best part of the game was the genius chant from the fans: GUAR-AN-TEE! GUAR-AN-TEE!
Hee-hee! Genius. Take that, Antonio Smith! Or Anthony Smith. Or whatever your name is. Who the hell is this guy anyway?

Not-So-Super Squirrels

Turning (back) to fantasy football now, the Super Squirrels, who started out so auspiciously at 3-0, entered the non-championship-eligible playoffs this week. Sad. I've decided that unless you've got a guy having an historic season (like Peyton or LT last year, or Brady or Moss this year) it takes a lot of luck to reach the playoffs in an H2H league. It's not like I didn't try to make deals to "make my own luck," either.

Take for instance, The Big Trade, Marshawn Lynch for Steve Smith, which turned out to be a non-factor for both sides. Smith scored 2 TDs for me, total. His 10 for 136 and a TD in week 6 helped me to a victory over Olsen Twin Sandwich, but other than that, he was single-digits all year. Lynch was sometimes very productive (30 pts vs Cin, e.g.) when he wasn't hurt, but he was out for 3 straight games.

Big Trade, Part Deux, the Sequel wasn't much better. Dealing Shaun Alexander and Alge Crumpler for Tony Gonzalez and Kenny Watson could also have been a difference-making deal, but alas, no. All it really did was eliminate the headache of resolving the cognitive dissonance I got every week between the legendary fantasy-stud name of Alexander and the paltry numbers that kept showing up next to that name.

Here are the weekly totals for a 5'9" running back I picked up a while back -- and boy am I glad I did, because he ended up teaming with McGahee to replace Alexander very handsomely.

19
16
13
19
22

Name him. (Answer at the bottom of this post.)

In any event, the Big Trade Part Deux was what was necessary to get a top-flight tight-end. Note: As has been widely noted, Tony-G gets bigger stats when Huard is under center, but he did score today. And yes, Gonzo is still a keeper-level guy, even at his age, because of the dearth of TE talent these days.

Finally, a word to the wise. Check out this sleeper wide receiver... 4 scores in 6 weeks! And nobody's heard of him! He was just sitting there on my waiver wire. And I seen highlights of him playing... He's got size and speed.

And the running back is Earnest Graham (RB) TB. Consider him a top back the rest of the season (if you made the playoffs) and next year, as well.


And yes, I found ESPN's new player widget, and I love it! Bravo ESPN!

Official Review, Take Two

In my 2nd blog installment on the officiating in the NFL, which I'm now calling (cleverly, if I do say so) "Official Review," I'll take a look at last night's shocking, bizarre Pats-Ravens game.

As usual, questionable calls went both ways, but 2 calls were blown against the Patriots that had a huge impact on the game, plus a bonus wild-card call.

1. Holding. 4th quarter, Patriots down but driving. Kevin Faulk gashing holes and moving the chains. He converts a 1st down, but wait, a flag comes flying in from the back judge into the scrum after Faulk moved the pile past the pylon. Holding, offense. This call is fishy because: a.) It was a scrum of at least 6 or 7 guys, who was it called on? b.) The flag came in after his forward progress had ended and resulted in a 1st down, c.) and NO REPLAY. Given that you can call holding on most any play from scrimmage, and given the drive-momentum killing impact of this call, I give this one the Blown Whistle of the Game Award.

2. Brady's INT. Brady doesn't throw interceptions often. So infrequent are they, in fact, that one might wonder what might cause him to throw a pick. How about defensive holding? Yep. Brady was up in the ref's face barking loudly about the non-call on Welker, which led to the pick. (See photo, right.) Luckily, Faulk (who had a huge game) stripped Ed Reed at the end of his return, or this one would've really hurt.

In fact, Michael Felger at the Boston Herald reports that Brady, Moss, and Vrabel all had vociferous words for the officiating. Ravens DBs were clutching and grabbing the entire game, such that Brady felt the call in the end zone was long overdue.

3. Bonus. Offensive pass interference. Not that it matters because time ran out, but on the Hail Mary pass, Mason jumps on Samuel like he was looking for a piggy-back ride. Samuel popped up and argued with the ref immediately, but the clock read 0:00 anyway, thank god.

Meanwhile, Baltimore players and fans are fuming over (at least) 3 things.

1. The time-out. Some of their own players apparently don't realize this, but that timeout on 4th down, where the Ravens had apparently stopped the Patriots, was a legit timeout. The replay clearly shows the assistant coach calling time while standing next to the ref, who came running in before the snap, arms waiving off the play. That the players on the field didn't hear or see him is immaterial.

2. Gaffney's game-winning TD. Sorry guys, it's a catch. Some reports say he was "juggling" the ball. This is hogwash. He caught it cleanly and deftly on his fingertips and got both feet in. At the same time, he was tucking the ball under his arm as he would naturally do after any catch. To argue that this somehow isn't a catch is ridiculous.

[Common Sense Rant mode: On] By the way, the manner in which the NFL tries to define a catch -- using super-slo-mo to parse out every split-second to try to find an imperceptible loss of "control" of the ball -- has become ridiculous. What's wrong with "If the ball hits the ground, it's no catch?!" Randy Moss caught a TD pass and juggled it as he went out of bounds, but he still caught it, right? It never hit the ground, did it? I mean, who invented this whole "must control the ball" thing anyway? It's as dumb as that "football move" rule about whether it's a fumble or an incomplete pass. A fumble is a fumble! Sheesh! [CS Rant Mode: Off]

3. Racist remarks from a ref. OK seriously now, read this account: Caught by television cameras in the Ravens' locker room and replayed this morning on ESPN, chief among the raging Ravens complaints was an assertion that one official – head linesman Phil McKinnely -- repeatedly called Ravens defensive back Samari Rolle the word "boy." At least five times, Rolle said after the game. "I simply asked him, 'Man, have you played before? You know what's at stake here?' He called me a boy," Rolle said this morning on ESPN First Take. "He was like, "Man, shut up, boy. Go back to playing.'" "He knows he's a ref," Rolle said. "You can't do anything to him. It's mind-blowing, though, that a ref would talk to a player like that."

The entire (excellent, well balanced) article is here in the Baltimore Sun. This ugly incident, if true, speaks to everything wrong with officiating in professional sports today, from baseball umps who follow and goad ballplayers and coaches during arguments, to NBA officials involved in gambling scandals, to every bad call that affects a game outcome.

And now that you're good and lathered up, I'll leave you with this bit of levity. Perhaps the best summation of the officiating situation I've ever seen. And a genius idea for a commercial, too!

Undefeated Patriots Must Overcome Refs, Too

OK, I haven't been posting much fantasy sports stuff here lately, but I'm going to write something in this space to get it off my chest. I'm sick of the bad officiating in the NFL! And what's worse, I'm sick of the way people just let it go, like it's expected, it's OK, it's part of the game, the calls even out, etc. Grrrr!

It reminds me of the current state of government in the US today. Bush and his henchman lie and lie and lie, and almost nobody calls them on it. (Except you, Keith Olbermann. And we love you for it. And Jon Stewart. And Bill Maher. And Dennis Kucinich. But, you get my point. I mean, despite these heroic truth-tellers, the bastards in DC are still lying, and they're still in office!)

Similarly, the mainstream media is in bed with the NFL to the point where commentators can't even comment on the bad calls that mar our beloved weekend pass-time. The only guy I've found who will actually blast the refs like they deserve to be blasted is Bill Simmons. His piece on the Colts-Pats debacle is the most wonderfully, artfully pissed-off treatise on the subject of bad calls ever written. Don't stop Bill! Keep it comin'!

Every week I see calls that shouldn't be called that are, and calls that should be made that aren't. I've been watching football since I was 9. I know the rules. I have 2 eyes and a satellite dish. I Windex my TV screen every week. Well, most every week. Well, I have the kids do it. When I think of it. But I know I'm not crazy, because every week Boston.com's discussion board has a thread about the bad calls, and it's usually the longest and most active thread on the site. So why then don't the reporters, you know, report on it? There should be a whole column devoted to analyzing the refereeing in every Monday newspaper. The zebra-striped guys have as much control over the outcome of the game as any player or coach, but most of the time, we don't even know the ref's names.

So OK, without further frothing, here they are, the worst calls from last night's Patriots-Eagles game.

1. Second quarter, 10:39 remaining. Eagles do a weird backward pass to Avant, where he scrambles trying a flea-flicker. The Eagles OL #72, in full wide-open view, shoves Vrabel in the back as Avant reverses field. Vrabel's #60 is clearly visible belly-skidding across the screen. A blatant block in the back is not called.

2. Randy Moss is grabbed by an Eagle defender on his crossing route, such that his jersey sleeve is actually flipped over, exposing the shoulder pad, which flapped in the breeze as he ran for the subsequently incomplete pass. No pass interference called.

3. Third quarter. Offensive pass interference on Randy Moss in the end zone, negating a touchdown.

4. Third quarter, immediately following. Gostkowski's field goal, a chip-shot from 32 yards that would have been the 3-point consolation prize after the 7 points were taken off the board, is called no good.

No doubt about it, it was close. He was kicking from the right hash so he hooked it, and it went over the left goal post. Think about it. The angle alone implies that the ball was between the goal posts before it went over the goal post. He's seen smiling and shaking is head on his way back to the sidelines. I said, "We'll see that again after the break." Then our friends in the mainstream media came dutifully back with the replay, complete with k-zone-esque technology heretofore unseen in football, that showed the ball was in fact, good. Just barely, but good. Now think about where the refs are. They're positioned under the goal posts. You'd think they could see this even more clearly, but noooooo, they blew it, just as they blew it last week in the Cleveland game with the ball went through and bounced backward off the support. (Damnedest thing I've ever seen, BTW.)

What really burns me is non-existent offensive pass interference. That's 7 points! It better be a real penalty! Some will say it was calling the play correctly but perhaps too closely, but I can't even say it was a ticky-tacky call. Madden and Michaels watched the replay and said, "I've yet to see the pass interference." But after that, that's it! It's forgotten. We can't watch a single Pats game without hearing about "spy gate" or "camera gate" or whatever they call it, but we never hear about how a playoff game was thrown to Denver because of the Worst Pass Interference Call in the History of the World. (Called on Asante Samuel. See comment 9 here; this guy still remembers!)

But this one may actually be the Worst Pass Interference Call in the History of the World. And the Pats still won that game, and last night's game. Looks like New England will have to go undefeated against not only the Colts and Eagles and the rest of the league, but the Zebras, as well.

WE WIN!

I want this! I am a Wheaties box collector, but this one holds some special allure. ;-)

Well, with the Red Sox World Series victory last night still blearing my tired eyes, and due to the pervasiveness of the World-Wide Red Sox Nation, there's not much to say that hasn't been said, but here's my 2 cents.

1st penny: The 2007 team is better than the 2004 team, but of course the sweetness of their victory isn't as intense. It's just not comparable. The World Series itself was eerily familiar in the sweeping of an inferior National League team. (Who's the "Junior Circuit" now, eh?) But while we did have a stirring comeback in the ALCS (AKA "Where Champions are Made"), we didn't go through New York, and I never really had the sense that the Angels, Indians, or Rockies were real threats. I was fully confident in this team's ability (if not destiny) to win it all, even down 3 games to 1 to Cleveland. Whereas 2004 was about exorcising 86 years of heartache and demons, 2007 is more of a feeling of deep satisfaction and pride of accomplishment. We were the best team, and we proved it on the field. Good. Well done.

And it's hard not to think that we're officially getting spoiled here now, with 2 World Series championships in 4 years. (And the Patriots winning 3 out of 5 -- soon to be 4 out of 6!) Like the self-made millionaire father who rose up from homelessness and destitution, I worry about my children. Do they truly appreciate what they have today and how special this is? Or are we just happy that they have it better than we did when we were little? Where my youth is scarred by Yaz's pop-up and the Bill Buckner Tunnel, my daughter's formative years are all about Manny Being Manny and Big Papi. Wow. Nation, we have achieved cultural shift.

2nd penny: Papelbon should've been the MVP of the Series. Lowell had a great series, a great post-season, a great regular season, and he's a great guy, but almost anybody on the team could've been MVP. It truly was a team effort. My argument for Papelbon is simply thus: What's the value of knowing that when we to get to the ninth, or the middle of the 8th, that the game is over? That's HUGE. Papelbon's dominance as closer effectively shortens the games. He was clearly gassed at the end, either from the long season or the thin air, but he gutted it out. There was nobody behind him if he failed. It was all up to him, and he delivered the goods. In the World Series, he uncharacteristically entered games in the 8th. That alone is enough to throw some closers completely off their games. But not J-Pap! He earned saves in the last 3 games of the series. He mowed down their best hitters when the games were on the line. He walked nobody. His ERA in the postseason was a tidy 0.00. He even picked a guy off for the first time all season! I don't know what more he could've done to deserve the honor. But oh well, it's not like HE cares...

Dance Dance Papelbon!

Andre Tippett

Was walking out of the Portsmouth Shaw's the other day, laden with groceries and beer, when a sign on the window on the way out caught the corner of my eye. "What did I just see?" I stopped, took a step backward, and did the standard cartoon double-take. The sign said Andre Tippett... THE Andre Tippett... Superstar Patriots linebacker from the 80s... Was going to be at Shaw's... THIS Shaw's... On Friday!

How wonderfully random!

I mean, it's not totally random. Shaw's has done a major renovation in our "Durgin Square" shopping center. And it's not unheard of for major corporations to enlist sports stars as added attractions. But it's one of those deals where normally, I would've heard about Tippett being in Portsmouth after the fact, had I not happened to have amazing peripheral vision [;-)] and that would've bummed me out. But I did see the sign, so my brother and I were able to meet one of our childhood football heroes! See?

Squirrels Deal Lynch in 1st Major Trade of Season

When I made Buffalo's rookie running back Marshawn Lynch my 1st pick (after 13 keepers, mind you), I knew I was adding depth at a position where I was already strong. With Shaun Alexander and Willis McGahee filling my 2 RB slots, Lynch (and DeAngelo Williams) were mere bench-warmers on the Super Squirrels roster. So when I received an unsolicited offer of WR Steve Smith for Lynch the other day at 9:25AM, I accepted immediately. Smith is, quite simply, a stud. And he's a stud at a position that's not exactly full of studs.

The interesting thing about Smith is his production so far this season:

Week 1: 24
Week 2: 40
Week 3: 1
Week 4: 3

Clearly, he's suffering since Jake Delhomme went down. But that shouldn't last long. Smith is a virtual lock for 1000+ yards receiving, year in and year out. He and new QB David Carr will work it out. And it should start this week against New Orleans. Last year, Smith had 17 catches (most against any team) for 172 yards and 3 TDs vs. the Saints.

With Boldin and Smith, I now have 2 Pro-Bowl caliber wide-outs, and 2 Pro-Bowl backs. I also added sleeper WR Donte Stallworth off waivers this week, something I would recommend you do BEFORE he breaks out. Now Jerricho Cotchery becomes trade fodder for a QB if Eli Manning or Chad Pennington don't get consistent, which, let's face it, is a distinct possibility.

League-wide, the Super Squirrels are sitting pretty at 3-1, surprising the league that has seen my brother's team fall to 0-4.