Benching Pats in the Blizzard

Well, I don't know about you, but I'm sitting here in Portsmouth NH looking out the window at this wicked Nor'Easter and thinking, "Yikes, I'm benching my Pats in fantasy football today." Of course for me, that only means Donte Stallworth, who I might've benched anyway since he's been eclipsed by Jabar Gaffney lately.

Maybe we'll get to see scenes like this one again today? God how I love snow games!

Oh, but I did also pick up Rodney Harrison based on his reemergence last week. He has always been a tackle-hound and a ball-hawk, and he's one Patriot I'm not benching. I'll play him in favor of Ellis Hobbs, who I still love, but without the kickoff return yardage, not so much. Anyway, I've got a hunch Harrison pops a ball loose and/or picks one up in the Winter Wonderland today.

Oh and speaking of HGH, let's talk briefly about...

The Mitchell Report

I always thought George Mitchell should've run for president. I have been a long-time fan of his politics, diplomacy, and grandfatherly/professorial demeanor. Despite all the obstacles he faced -- namely, hardly anybody would talk to him -- he put together a nice little report. The best part for me was his nailing of Fat Roger to the cross. When I heard he was a juicer, I was thrilled! Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. Bill Simmons feels vindicated, at least as much as Dan Duquette does. (For a brilliant, blow-by-blow explanation of Red Sox Nation's loathing of our once-favorite son, check out this Simmons piece from 2001.) Anyway, Roger's juicing sure explains a lot, like how his body went from flabby to buff after he left Boston, and how his stats got *better* as he aged (see Bonds, Barry), and why he threw so many hissy-fits on the field (e.g., inexplicably throwing Piazza's broken bat back at him).

Also interesting were the memos from Theo and his staff on Gagne and Donnelly (they're Juice Guys) were reprinted here in the Globe.

And the other interesting thing I took from the whole Mitchell Report thing was how Jose Canseco, juicer-cum-whistleblower, reacted. (Canseco was the first to float Clemens name as a ragin'-'roider, by the way.) Canseco said he was "shocked" that A-Rod's name was not in the report. But really, Clemens AND A-Rod getting taken down in one fell-swoop?! Following a World Series victory, I'm not sure Red Sox Nation could handle that level of joy!

Official Review, Take Three

You know what? The referees did an outstanding job, IMHO, in this week's Pats-Steelers game. Shocking, I know, but it's true. I'm giving them their props right here and now.

The best part of the game was the genius chant from the fans: GUAR-AN-TEE! GUAR-AN-TEE!
Hee-hee! Genius. Take that, Antonio Smith! Or Anthony Smith. Or whatever your name is. Who the hell is this guy anyway?

Not-So-Super Squirrels

Turning (back) to fantasy football now, the Super Squirrels, who started out so auspiciously at 3-0, entered the non-championship-eligible playoffs this week. Sad. I've decided that unless you've got a guy having an historic season (like Peyton or LT last year, or Brady or Moss this year) it takes a lot of luck to reach the playoffs in an H2H league. It's not like I didn't try to make deals to "make my own luck," either.

Take for instance, The Big Trade, Marshawn Lynch for Steve Smith, which turned out to be a non-factor for both sides. Smith scored 2 TDs for me, total. His 10 for 136 and a TD in week 6 helped me to a victory over Olsen Twin Sandwich, but other than that, he was single-digits all year. Lynch was sometimes very productive (30 pts vs Cin, e.g.) when he wasn't hurt, but he was out for 3 straight games.

Big Trade, Part Deux, the Sequel wasn't much better. Dealing Shaun Alexander and Alge Crumpler for Tony Gonzalez and Kenny Watson could also have been a difference-making deal, but alas, no. All it really did was eliminate the headache of resolving the cognitive dissonance I got every week between the legendary fantasy-stud name of Alexander and the paltry numbers that kept showing up next to that name.

Here are the weekly totals for a 5'9" running back I picked up a while back -- and boy am I glad I did, because he ended up teaming with McGahee to replace Alexander very handsomely.

19
16
13
19
22

Name him. (Answer at the bottom of this post.)

In any event, the Big Trade Part Deux was what was necessary to get a top-flight tight-end. Note: As has been widely noted, Tony-G gets bigger stats when Huard is under center, but he did score today. And yes, Gonzo is still a keeper-level guy, even at his age, because of the dearth of TE talent these days.

Finally, a word to the wise. Check out this sleeper wide receiver... 4 scores in 6 weeks! And nobody's heard of him! He was just sitting there on my waiver wire. And I seen highlights of him playing... He's got size and speed.

And the running back is Earnest Graham (RB) TB. Consider him a top back the rest of the season (if you made the playoffs) and next year, as well.


And yes, I found ESPN's new player widget, and I love it! Bravo ESPN!

Official Review, Take Two

In my 2nd blog installment on the officiating in the NFL, which I'm now calling (cleverly, if I do say so) "Official Review," I'll take a look at last night's shocking, bizarre Pats-Ravens game.

As usual, questionable calls went both ways, but 2 calls were blown against the Patriots that had a huge impact on the game, plus a bonus wild-card call.

1. Holding. 4th quarter, Patriots down but driving. Kevin Faulk gashing holes and moving the chains. He converts a 1st down, but wait, a flag comes flying in from the back judge into the scrum after Faulk moved the pile past the pylon. Holding, offense. This call is fishy because: a.) It was a scrum of at least 6 or 7 guys, who was it called on? b.) The flag came in after his forward progress had ended and resulted in a 1st down, c.) and NO REPLAY. Given that you can call holding on most any play from scrimmage, and given the drive-momentum killing impact of this call, I give this one the Blown Whistle of the Game Award.

2. Brady's INT. Brady doesn't throw interceptions often. So infrequent are they, in fact, that one might wonder what might cause him to throw a pick. How about defensive holding? Yep. Brady was up in the ref's face barking loudly about the non-call on Welker, which led to the pick. (See photo, right.) Luckily, Faulk (who had a huge game) stripped Ed Reed at the end of his return, or this one would've really hurt.

In fact, Michael Felger at the Boston Herald reports that Brady, Moss, and Vrabel all had vociferous words for the officiating. Ravens DBs were clutching and grabbing the entire game, such that Brady felt the call in the end zone was long overdue.

3. Bonus. Offensive pass interference. Not that it matters because time ran out, but on the Hail Mary pass, Mason jumps on Samuel like he was looking for a piggy-back ride. Samuel popped up and argued with the ref immediately, but the clock read 0:00 anyway, thank god.

Meanwhile, Baltimore players and fans are fuming over (at least) 3 things.

1. The time-out. Some of their own players apparently don't realize this, but that timeout on 4th down, where the Ravens had apparently stopped the Patriots, was a legit timeout. The replay clearly shows the assistant coach calling time while standing next to the ref, who came running in before the snap, arms waiving off the play. That the players on the field didn't hear or see him is immaterial.

2. Gaffney's game-winning TD. Sorry guys, it's a catch. Some reports say he was "juggling" the ball. This is hogwash. He caught it cleanly and deftly on his fingertips and got both feet in. At the same time, he was tucking the ball under his arm as he would naturally do after any catch. To argue that this somehow isn't a catch is ridiculous.

[Common Sense Rant mode: On] By the way, the manner in which the NFL tries to define a catch -- using super-slo-mo to parse out every split-second to try to find an imperceptible loss of "control" of the ball -- has become ridiculous. What's wrong with "If the ball hits the ground, it's no catch?!" Randy Moss caught a TD pass and juggled it as he went out of bounds, but he still caught it, right? It never hit the ground, did it? I mean, who invented this whole "must control the ball" thing anyway? It's as dumb as that "football move" rule about whether it's a fumble or an incomplete pass. A fumble is a fumble! Sheesh! [CS Rant Mode: Off]

3. Racist remarks from a ref. OK seriously now, read this account: Caught by television cameras in the Ravens' locker room and replayed this morning on ESPN, chief among the raging Ravens complaints was an assertion that one official – head linesman Phil McKinnely -- repeatedly called Ravens defensive back Samari Rolle the word "boy." At least five times, Rolle said after the game. "I simply asked him, 'Man, have you played before? You know what's at stake here?' He called me a boy," Rolle said this morning on ESPN First Take. "He was like, "Man, shut up, boy. Go back to playing.'" "He knows he's a ref," Rolle said. "You can't do anything to him. It's mind-blowing, though, that a ref would talk to a player like that."

The entire (excellent, well balanced) article is here in the Baltimore Sun. This ugly incident, if true, speaks to everything wrong with officiating in professional sports today, from baseball umps who follow and goad ballplayers and coaches during arguments, to NBA officials involved in gambling scandals, to every bad call that affects a game outcome.

And now that you're good and lathered up, I'll leave you with this bit of levity. Perhaps the best summation of the officiating situation I've ever seen. And a genius idea for a commercial, too!

Undefeated Patriots Must Overcome Refs, Too

OK, I haven't been posting much fantasy sports stuff here lately, but I'm going to write something in this space to get it off my chest. I'm sick of the bad officiating in the NFL! And what's worse, I'm sick of the way people just let it go, like it's expected, it's OK, it's part of the game, the calls even out, etc. Grrrr!

It reminds me of the current state of government in the US today. Bush and his henchman lie and lie and lie, and almost nobody calls them on it. (Except you, Keith Olbermann. And we love you for it. And Jon Stewart. And Bill Maher. And Dennis Kucinich. But, you get my point. I mean, despite these heroic truth-tellers, the bastards in DC are still lying, and they're still in office!)

Similarly, the mainstream media is in bed with the NFL to the point where commentators can't even comment on the bad calls that mar our beloved weekend pass-time. The only guy I've found who will actually blast the refs like they deserve to be blasted is Bill Simmons. His piece on the Colts-Pats debacle is the most wonderfully, artfully pissed-off treatise on the subject of bad calls ever written. Don't stop Bill! Keep it comin'!

Every week I see calls that shouldn't be called that are, and calls that should be made that aren't. I've been watching football since I was 9. I know the rules. I have 2 eyes and a satellite dish. I Windex my TV screen every week. Well, most every week. Well, I have the kids do it. When I think of it. But I know I'm not crazy, because every week Boston.com's discussion board has a thread about the bad calls, and it's usually the longest and most active thread on the site. So why then don't the reporters, you know, report on it? There should be a whole column devoted to analyzing the refereeing in every Monday newspaper. The zebra-striped guys have as much control over the outcome of the game as any player or coach, but most of the time, we don't even know the ref's names.

So OK, without further frothing, here they are, the worst calls from last night's Patriots-Eagles game.

1. Second quarter, 10:39 remaining. Eagles do a weird backward pass to Avant, where he scrambles trying a flea-flicker. The Eagles OL #72, in full wide-open view, shoves Vrabel in the back as Avant reverses field. Vrabel's #60 is clearly visible belly-skidding across the screen. A blatant block in the back is not called.

2. Randy Moss is grabbed by an Eagle defender on his crossing route, such that his jersey sleeve is actually flipped over, exposing the shoulder pad, which flapped in the breeze as he ran for the subsequently incomplete pass. No pass interference called.

3. Third quarter. Offensive pass interference on Randy Moss in the end zone, negating a touchdown.

4. Third quarter, immediately following. Gostkowski's field goal, a chip-shot from 32 yards that would have been the 3-point consolation prize after the 7 points were taken off the board, is called no good.

No doubt about it, it was close. He was kicking from the right hash so he hooked it, and it went over the left goal post. Think about it. The angle alone implies that the ball was between the goal posts before it went over the goal post. He's seen smiling and shaking is head on his way back to the sidelines. I said, "We'll see that again after the break." Then our friends in the mainstream media came dutifully back with the replay, complete with k-zone-esque technology heretofore unseen in football, that showed the ball was in fact, good. Just barely, but good. Now think about where the refs are. They're positioned under the goal posts. You'd think they could see this even more clearly, but noooooo, they blew it, just as they blew it last week in the Cleveland game with the ball went through and bounced backward off the support. (Damnedest thing I've ever seen, BTW.)

What really burns me is non-existent offensive pass interference. That's 7 points! It better be a real penalty! Some will say it was calling the play correctly but perhaps too closely, but I can't even say it was a ticky-tacky call. Madden and Michaels watched the replay and said, "I've yet to see the pass interference." But after that, that's it! It's forgotten. We can't watch a single Pats game without hearing about "spy gate" or "camera gate" or whatever they call it, but we never hear about how a playoff game was thrown to Denver because of the Worst Pass Interference Call in the History of the World. (Called on Asante Samuel. See comment 9 here; this guy still remembers!)

But this one may actually be the Worst Pass Interference Call in the History of the World. And the Pats still won that game, and last night's game. Looks like New England will have to go undefeated against not only the Colts and Eagles and the rest of the league, but the Zebras, as well.

WE WIN!

I want this! I am a Wheaties box collector, but this one holds some special allure. ;-)

Well, with the Red Sox World Series victory last night still blearing my tired eyes, and due to the pervasiveness of the World-Wide Red Sox Nation, there's not much to say that hasn't been said, but here's my 2 cents.

1st penny: The 2007 team is better than the 2004 team, but of course the sweetness of their victory isn't as intense. It's just not comparable. The World Series itself was eerily familiar in the sweeping of an inferior National League team. (Who's the "Junior Circuit" now, eh?) But while we did have a stirring comeback in the ALCS (AKA "Where Champions are Made"), we didn't go through New York, and I never really had the sense that the Angels, Indians, or Rockies were real threats. I was fully confident in this team's ability (if not destiny) to win it all, even down 3 games to 1 to Cleveland. Whereas 2004 was about exorcising 86 years of heartache and demons, 2007 is more of a feeling of deep satisfaction and pride of accomplishment. We were the best team, and we proved it on the field. Good. Well done.

And it's hard not to think that we're officially getting spoiled here now, with 2 World Series championships in 4 years. (And the Patriots winning 3 out of 5 -- soon to be 4 out of 6!) Like the self-made millionaire father who rose up from homelessness and destitution, I worry about my children. Do they truly appreciate what they have today and how special this is? Or are we just happy that they have it better than we did when we were little? Where my youth is scarred by Yaz's pop-up and the Bill Buckner Tunnel, my daughter's formative years are all about Manny Being Manny and Big Papi. Wow. Nation, we have achieved cultural shift.

2nd penny: Papelbon should've been the MVP of the Series. Lowell had a great series, a great post-season, a great regular season, and he's a great guy, but almost anybody on the team could've been MVP. It truly was a team effort. My argument for Papelbon is simply thus: What's the value of knowing that when we to get to the ninth, or the middle of the 8th, that the game is over? That's HUGE. Papelbon's dominance as closer effectively shortens the games. He was clearly gassed at the end, either from the long season or the thin air, but he gutted it out. There was nobody behind him if he failed. It was all up to him, and he delivered the goods. In the World Series, he uncharacteristically entered games in the 8th. That alone is enough to throw some closers completely off their games. But not J-Pap! He earned saves in the last 3 games of the series. He mowed down their best hitters when the games were on the line. He walked nobody. His ERA in the postseason was a tidy 0.00. He even picked a guy off for the first time all season! I don't know what more he could've done to deserve the honor. But oh well, it's not like HE cares...

Dance Dance Papelbon!

Andre Tippett

Was walking out of the Portsmouth Shaw's the other day, laden with groceries and beer, when a sign on the window on the way out caught the corner of my eye. "What did I just see?" I stopped, took a step backward, and did the standard cartoon double-take. The sign said Andre Tippett... THE Andre Tippett... Superstar Patriots linebacker from the 80s... Was going to be at Shaw's... THIS Shaw's... On Friday!

How wonderfully random!

I mean, it's not totally random. Shaw's has done a major renovation in our "Durgin Square" shopping center. And it's not unheard of for major corporations to enlist sports stars as added attractions. But it's one of those deals where normally, I would've heard about Tippett being in Portsmouth after the fact, had I not happened to have amazing peripheral vision [;-)] and that would've bummed me out. But I did see the sign, so my brother and I were able to meet one of our childhood football heroes! See?

Squirrels Deal Lynch in 1st Major Trade of Season

When I made Buffalo's rookie running back Marshawn Lynch my 1st pick (after 13 keepers, mind you), I knew I was adding depth at a position where I was already strong. With Shaun Alexander and Willis McGahee filling my 2 RB slots, Lynch (and DeAngelo Williams) were mere bench-warmers on the Super Squirrels roster. So when I received an unsolicited offer of WR Steve Smith for Lynch the other day at 9:25AM, I accepted immediately. Smith is, quite simply, a stud. And he's a stud at a position that's not exactly full of studs.

The interesting thing about Smith is his production so far this season:

Week 1: 24
Week 2: 40
Week 3: 1
Week 4: 3

Clearly, he's suffering since Jake Delhomme went down. But that shouldn't last long. Smith is a virtual lock for 1000+ yards receiving, year in and year out. He and new QB David Carr will work it out. And it should start this week against New Orleans. Last year, Smith had 17 catches (most against any team) for 172 yards and 3 TDs vs. the Saints.

With Boldin and Smith, I now have 2 Pro-Bowl caliber wide-outs, and 2 Pro-Bowl backs. I also added sleeper WR Donte Stallworth off waivers this week, something I would recommend you do BEFORE he breaks out. Now Jerricho Cotchery becomes trade fodder for a QB if Eli Manning or Chad Pennington don't get consistent, which, let's face it, is a distinct possibility.

League-wide, the Super Squirrels are sitting pretty at 3-1, surprising the league that has seen my brother's team fall to 0-4.

Siamese Flyin' Squirrels Year in Review

The Final Standings:

2nd place! I'm very proud of myself. I was in the middle of the pack for much of the year, and then I put the hammer down. Way to go Squirrels!

The Awards:

Most Valuable Player: Magglio! Right-handed clean-up batting champion at .363?! 216 hits?! 139 RBI? Yow, no wonder Theo wanted him to replace Manny. He's even got the hair for the job!

Most Disappointing Player: Well, considering he was my #1 pick, I guess it has to be Manny. 20/88/.296 isn't exactly first round production. Also, Stephen Drew. I waited and held and waited and uh, he never really happened. But I still think he'll be a good player. And really, shortstop was a tough position to fill this year anyway, although the Kahlil Greene (14 hrs!) and Jack Wilson (.346!) combo turned out better than OK in the end.

Best Trade: Lowell for Berkman. I got 26/65/.295 from him in a little more than half a season. How many trades happen where both sides think they got the better of the deal?! But I also loved my deadline-beating deal getting Brandon Phillips for King Felix and Embree. I could've used those 4 Ws Felix got after the trade, but Phillips netted me 4 more homers, 7 more steals, and picked up my BA.

Unsung Hero: Tie: Nick Markakis and Placido Polanco: I kept thinking my OF depth could net me something in a trade, but nobody took Markakis, so I kept his quietly impressive 96/22/111/18/.300 to myself! As for Polanco, I ended up with him at the end of the draft, and with no speed and no power, he was always a slump away from getting dropped, except for one thing: He never slumped! Every time I looked up he was 3-5! Honorable mention: Manny Corpas: 1.42 ERA, 19 saves, & 2 wins.

Most Regretful Drop: Kaz Matsui in the first week? And damn Tick would never trade him back to me! Or Saltalamacchia the day before his 2 hr 7 RBI game. D'oh! Or Wakefield after only 2 of his 17 wins? He was KILLING my WHIP though.

Best Drop: Pat Neshek, just before he got tired and started to suck. Timing is everything! Did the same thing with Taylor Tankersley; dropped him the day before he blew a save on a grand salami to Zimmerman! Whew! See also: Jim Edmonds, dropped in week 1. I love him as the current player who most reminds me of Uber Binky Freddy Lynn, but I knew he was done before he even got started this year.

Best Non Drop: Corey Patterson. He sucked again early on, but I didn't let him go THIS season. See, I learned from last year!

Best Waiver Pick-up: Jared Weaver. I remember being SHOCKED to see his name on the waiver wire. I don't know who dropped him, but thank you for the 12 Ws! Runner-Up: Alan Embree's 14 saves. For those couple months, he was lights out. Ditto for Oki Doki.
Most Injurious Injury: Jason Schmidt. Where would I have been if he had been even HALF of the Cy Young candidate I expected him to be? The thing I lacked most of the year was a stud starter, aside from...

Most Vindicated Binky: Scott Kazmir. (Cue the Whitney Houston song.) When he put it all together in the 2nd half, I was pleased but not surprised. 239 Ks (take that Johan!), 13 Ws, and a 3.48? Yah, I'll take it.

Now it's on to fantasy football season, full-time. Let's go Super Squirrels!

Trade Advice

--- Thom of Maine wrote:

> I've got a trade offer in my other league... LJ for Maroney... do I take it?

Wow. Hmm... Sounds like the other guy is big time Pats fan homer, like me! ;-) If he's giving you the Larry Johnson, the unanimous #2 pick behind LT, and he isn't hurt, I'd be inclined to take it. Maroney may never get in the end zone this year, and LJ you can trade again later on if you want. Here's the rub: If your league has trade reviews, it might not go through. This early in the year, other guys might not take too kindly to trades that cross draft round boundaries.

One thing I like to do in fantasy, as well as reality, is buy low. Not only for the obvious reasons, but because you're sticking the other guy with the bad stats. Those stats happened, they're gone, they're locked in. The current owner can never undo those or get those back. Thus far, Johnson has been, well, not good. All that matters is what happens from here. LJ's schedule will ease up, he'll get stronger, and acquiring him right now could be the kind of bold move that wins championships.

For Maroney's part, don't get me wrong, I love him. (Does the term "man crush" mean anything to you?) But Coach B is committed to the two-headed-monster approach to the backfield. Sammy Morris is there, and while he is, he diminishes Maroney's fantasy value.

The "Non-DL" Disabled List

What's more infuriating to a fantasy owner, especially this time of year? I've got 2 key guys, Manny Ramirez and Corey Patterson, who are "out." Three, actually, if you count C. J. Wilson.

Manny Ramirez continues to sit on the bench, though he did swing the bat for the first time since August 28, according to the Boston Herald. His return is unknown.

September 12, 2007
Corey Patterson missed another game with a sprained left ankle Tuesday, the Baltimore Sun reports. He hasn't played since last Wednesday.

RotoWire | Sat, September 8

Wilson will remain sidelined until Tuesday with a sore ribcage, the team's official site reports.

Spin: The Rangers would like to stay away from Wilson pitching on back-to-back nights the rest of the season but aren't planning on shutting him down just yet. Wilson's struggled in September and he'll see a drop in save chances as a result.

What's a fantasy owner to do? You don't (gulp) drop 'em, do you?!

Not fantasy sports per se...

...But it is a fantasy to someday own (ok, even be in the presence of) the greatest, most famous baseball card ever printed.

Well this just in from Beckett News:

The finest known example of the famed 1909-11 T206 Honus Wagner was once again sold this week, this time for a record-setting $2.8M in a private transaction conducted by SCP Auctions. The card, graded NM-MT 8 by PSA, was at one time owned by Wayne Gretzky in addition to being the grand prize for a national promotion conducted by Wal-Mart.

Prior to this most recent transaction, SCP Auctions had sold the card this past February for $2.35M to another private party and had themselves taken a minority ownership position in the card.

"The T206 Honus Wagner card is an icon, not only in the field of baseball card collecting, but in the larger field of Americana," said David Kohler, president and CEO of SCP Auctions. "We are privileged to have been involved in the sale of this card, not once but twice."

It's estimated that as few as 70 copies of the T206 Wagner exist to this day. To date, 33 copies have been professionally graded (29 by PSA and four by SGC). Of those, 25 copies are graded between Poor 1 and Good 2, six are VG 3, one is EX 5 and, of course, one very newsworthy copy is NM-MT 8.

What they don't mention (because they assume you already know the story) is how the card came to be so rare in the first place. Back in the day of flannel uniforms and tiny leather gloves, cardboard pictures of these new-fangled professional "base-ball" players were sold as premium incentives to get you to purchase a certain brand of cigarettes. Not gum, but cancer sticks. Wow. Can you imagine? Anyway, Honus Wagner of "Pittsburg" was something of an odd duck in 1909: a non-smoker. When he found out his likeness was being used to peddle cigs, he protested. The company stopped printing new ones, and the few that had gotten out became rarities. When you consider that most baseball cards, for which there was no real hobby market until the late 70s, were the first thing mothers and wives took to the town dump, it's no wonder there are only a few of them left. It's a compelling story, as evidenced by the new book just published in May, simply entitled "The Card." If you don't happen to find T-206 Honus Wagner original in an attic or flea market, the book would make a lovely gift for the collectibles enthusiast in your life. Hint, hint. ;-)

ARE YOUR READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?!

Introducing... The 2007 Super Squirrels!*

*(I searched Google images for squirrels and found this adorable little guy about to unleash the powers of planet Krypton on my fantasy football opponents. I signed him up as my mascot immediately.)

For perspective on the upcoming season, let's look back at my previous Squirrel-themed fantasy teams. In 2004, the Bullwinkle Squirrels took home the Nerfball League championship. That year, Shaun Alexander's amazing 18.4 points per game led the way. Willis McGahee was my #2 back, and the two have been Squirrel keepers ever since.

In 2005, I went from first to worst with a 4-9 record, despite a respectable 90.7 weekly average (5th best in the league).

In 2006, I finished 6-7 with a miserable, pathetic, embarrassing 76.2/week, which was by far the worst in the league. I blame Shaun Alexander for this; since he was listed as questionable for most of the season, I was unable to replace him, DL him, or some weeks to decide whether or not to start him. Even worse, with McGahee laboring in a transitioning Buffalo offense, his last 6 weeks of the season were wildly inconsistent: 20, 8, 23, 4, 17, -1. Let's just say it was a tough year and move on, shall we?

This season, my hopes once again rest on the shoulder pads of Alexander and McGahee. And there's plenty of reason for optimism here. Alexander looks healthy again and is the trendy preseason pick for comeback player of the year. Meanwhile, McGahee is the new featured back in Baltimore, where he figures to get worked like a dog. (This is a good thing. I mean, is anything worse for fantasy players than the NFL's trend toward RB job-sharing? What's next, telecommuting?!)

The Super Squirrels' season is already off to a good start. After we all rostered 13 keepers, I used the 2nd overall pick in the draft to land Willis McGahee's replacement in Buffalo, rookie Marshawn Lynch. If you're looking for a 3rd RB for injury depth, you can do a whole lot worse than Lynch. Here's ESPN's 2007 SEASON OUTLOOK:

When they closed the book on Willis McGahee, the Bills couldn't have guessed that their next running back would be such a page-turner. This first-rounder is gritty and explosive, generating rare power for his size (5'11", 217). Lynch's straight-line style might not consistently click behind Buffalo's iffy O-line, but those five slabs of beef should serve him well on the goal line. When he does get a crease, his burst and top-end speed are the stuff of 40-yard runs (which is why his receiving potential also excites). If Lynch stays healthy, flex production should be the bare minimum.

Here's the rest of the Super Squirrels opening week roster:

Eli Manning , NYG QB		14	11.8	--
Shaun Alexander , Sea RB		29	7.8	--
Willis McGahee , Bal RB		28	8.9	--
Anquan Boldin , Ari WR		17	8.8	--
Jerricho Cotchery , NYJ WR		21	8.6	--
Alge Crumpler , Atl TE P		2	7.5	--
Brian Urlacher , Chi LB P		6	10.3	--
Aaron Schobel , Buf DE		10	6.6	--
Dre' Bly , Den CB		25	6.1	--
Jason Elam , Den K

LET'S GO SQUIRRELS!

Feat of Clay

Congrats to 23-year-old Red Sox rookie Clay Buchholz! (Check this out, this is neat... My pal Jeff blogged the no-no as it happened. I always thought that was one of the cooler applications of the blogging tool -- instant posting on live events as they unfold.) Now, let's just sit back and watch Buchholz get snapped up off the waiver wires now, shall we?

I see my brother picked him up in the TQS league at, I dunno, about the 4th or 5th inning? Nice job Toddy!

Recent Transactions

Team	Type	Pos	Player	From	Date
The Scotsmen	Drop	RP/SP	Hennessey, Brad		Sat 9/1 9:48 PM
The Scotsmen	Add	SP	Buchholz, Clay	Free Agent	Sat 9/1 9:48 PM
Doubting Thomas	Activate	SP	Martinez, Pedro	Reserve roster	Sat 9/1 8:46 PM

But check this action out in my ESPN league.

Sep 1 11:10 PM		MBN dropped Jarrod Saltalamacchia, Tex to W MBN added Clay Buchholz, Bos from FA to BE
Sep 1 3:30 PM		BROK dropped Noah Lowry, SF to W BROK traded Brandon Phillips, Cin to SKWL SKWL traded Felix Hernandez, Sea to BROK SKWL traded Alan Embree, Oak to BROK
Sep 1 12:14 PM		SKWL dropped Clay Buchholz, Bos to FA SKWL added Jon Lester, Bos from FA to BE
Sep 1 12:13 PM		SKWL dropped Joe Saunders, LAA to W SKWL added Clay Buchholz, Bos from FA to BE

As you can see, I was way ahead on this, picking up the lanky baby-faced rookie nearly 7 hours before he took the mound! (In fact, I picked him up for his first spot start and was rewarded with a W back on Aug 17.) However, ESPN, in its wisdom, said it was too late for me to add him for tonight's start. Given that he would be a wasted roster spot for the next 5 days, and that I'm in a vicious battle for the league championship, I dropped him a minute later for tomorrow's starter Jon Lester, who is suddenly now officially soooo yesterday's news when it comes to Boston phenom rookie pitchers.

Now, why Buchholz didn't end up needing a waiver claim after I dropped him is a bit of a mystery; normally free agents going back into the pool need to pass through a 3-day waiver period. I'll have to check the rules to find the loophole, but in the meantime I find it amusing that Murder By Numbers (currently behind me in 3rd place) picked up Buchholz mere seconds after the ump rang up Nick Markakis. I'm looking forward to the added/dropped page tomorrow.

Oh yah, and in other news, you'll notice above that I pulled off a trade at the deadline! I offered King Felix, who's been more like a petulant prince this season, and threw in Alan Embree, who's probably not getting many more saves this year, to a team well down in the standings in an attempt to scoop Brandon Phillips, whom I've been calling my "Secret Weapon" in my TQS league. To my amazement, the deal was accepted! Check his stats, man. He's been a STUD all year, and I can only hope it continues for the last month of the season. Here's what RotoWire says about him:

Phillips is currently hitting .290 with 26 homers, 79 RBI and 25 stolen bases.

Spin: Phillips has always had good speed on the basepaths, but his power at the plate this season has been a pleasant surprise for Reds fans. With a month left to the regular season, Phillips is only one home run away from holding the Reds franchise record for second basemen, and also has a shot to become the first Red to reach the 30-30 mark since Barry Larkin did it in 1996.

Finally, the latest addition to the Siamese Fightin' Squirrels is Mark Mulder. I had an open DL spot and figured I'd take a flier on him. The scoop is that he's healthy a year after rotator cuff surgery and may start Weds or Thursday vs. the Pirates. The Cardinals have been playing better lately, so Mulder could be a free source of Ws over the last month. But, yes, I'd rather have Buchholz!

J-Up Goes Down; Josh Fields of Dreams

J-Up Goes Down

Given that I'm in the midst of a furious charge to the top in my ESPN league standings, and given that we're not doing keepers this year due to a glitch in the draft this spring, I had no choice but to cut ties with the Justin Upton phenomenon. Of course, my league mates had to make fun, since I made a big deal about winning the waiver wire lottery to get him in the first place. But he's not playing every day, and after that initial splash, he hasn't been producing anything but outs. So long J-Up. I'll be keeping an eye on you though!

Speaking of young D-Backs, in my other league I just picked up Chris B. Young, the year's most surprising 20-20 guy, where he was unfathomably still on the waiver wire. I'm out of contention in that league, but I can still play spoiler and maybe it'll piss off one of the playoff teams. ;-) It's a shallow league... One where I can drop a J.D. Drew or even Corey Hart if he slumps and not worry about it. Weird, I know.

Staying in Arizona, their "can't-miss" shortstop is still missing in action since I dropped him. Of course we all know the sting of painful irony where the player you finally give up on starts tearing up the league the next day. (Yes, Saltalamacchia's big 2 hr, 7 RBI day was the day after I dropped him.) But even my dropping him didn't jump-start Drew's season. It's just been a bad year for Drews, both Stephen and J.D. Makes you wonder how Tim's doing. Maybe he was the smart one and retired just in time.

Josh Fields of Dreams

But the big news is I've finally found a 3B to replace Mike Lowell. I experimented for a while with Kevin Kouzmanoff (who got me 6 homers his short stint, can't complain too much), Alex Gordon (4 hrs, 3 steals), and (yet another D-back) Mark Reynolds. But Fields has homered 3 times in the past week, now has 8 since I picked him up, and leads all AL rookies in homers with 17. Even better, Fields is now manning left for the hapless Bleach Sox, so he'll get the flexibility of OF eligibility in a week or two. Joe Crede, who is a lot like Fields when you think about it, won't be back til next year, at which time Chicago will have a decision to make. With the left-field experiment, it looks like they want to keep both big young bats in the lineup.

Berkman-Lowell Trade Update

In 58 games for me, Lowell hit .312 with 11 HRs, 46 RBI, 30 Runs, and 2 steals.
In 65 games for me since then, Berkman has hit .292 with 16 HRs, 45 RBI, 49 Runs, and 2 steals.

For my trading partner, in 59 games since the deal Lowell has hit a blistering .343, but with only 6 HRs, 44 RBI, and 28 runs.

As a die-hard Sox fan, I'm glad Lowell hasn't had the 2nd half slump many predicted. As a fantasy manager, I feel badly I missed out on that batting average, but Lowell's RBI are identical to Berkman's, his homers are way fewer, and Berkman scores a ton more runs. When you consider that my partner was stuck with a putrid .250 average and only 8 of his 24 homers to begin the year, I think I'm winning the deal at this point.

If further evidence is needed, I also traded places with him in the standings. Now I'm in 2nd and he's in 4th!

Christmas in August?

I awoke to the morning, an ordinary morning like any other, and flipped open my laptop. I hit refresh on my ESPN league tab and what to my wondering eyes did appear...

Aug 6 4:35 AM

SKWL dropped Dave Roberts, SF to W SKWL added Justin Upton, Ari from W to BE

I was stunned. I did a double-take, just like a cartoon character. My head was shaking and my eyes were popping out further than is optometrist recommended. Somehow the waiver wire prize of the season had fallen to #5 in the claim queue!

Great, I thought. Now what?! Clearly, coffee was in order.

Properly caffeinated, I noticed J-Up was 2-4 again last night, making him 4 for his last 8. He very well could be "for real." Now I need to figure out how to juggle Jonny Gomes, Corey Patterson, and Upton. Strategically, I need homers in this league right now if I want to move up from 4th place. And it's not decided yet, but the league is leaning against keepers of any kind next year. Stay tuned... This could get intersting!

For more on the Upton phenomenon, and some excellent insight on the subject of adding rookies sooner rather than later, check out Andy Behrens on Yahoo! Coincidentally enough, he figures a Dave Roberts type will be available if J-Up is a bust out of the gate.

Uptons

Here in New England, when we sportsfans hear the name Upton, we tend to think Bell, as in Upton Bell, the longtime sportswriter/broadcaster and early 70s Patriots GM. He also sports perhaps the most obvious toupe I've ever seen anywhere -- so obvious, in fact, that I'm convinced it is his actual hair. If that makes any sense. Click the link and see for yourself. Someone, please tug on it and clear this up for me! It's been bugging me for years. Anyway...

Of course, most savvy fantasy baseballers would've said B.J. when asked to name an Upton. With 14 homers, 13 steals, and a .325 average, he's at least 3 kinds of fantasy fabulousness.

Now we have another Upton. Called up yesterday by Arizona. B.J.'s "little" brother. (Check out the size of this kid.) 19 years old. #1 overall draft pick in 2005. He's got phenom written all over him. No pressure though Justin!

Now, the D-Backs have had worse production from right field than the Red Sox, if you can believe such a thing, and he's already out there playing. He logged an 0-fer in his debut, but don't let that disuade you from trying to pick him up. Notice, I said trying. In ESPN, he wasn't able to be added as a free agent; instead, the powers that be made him a waiver claim pickup. That's not a bad thing, actually... Too many hot rookies have snuck by even the most diligent daily players, too often going to night-owls and early-birds quick with the hair-trigger-waiver-finger. This might be more fair. Anyway, I've got my claim in. With Manny, Ichiro, Maggio, Markakis, and Patterson in the OF, and Dave Roberts in my Util slot, I decided to drop Roberts in favor of the superstar-to-be. But I'm only #5 in the claim queue, so I'm not holding my breath til Monday when he clears. Assuming I lose out, Roberts was 4-5 last night and his 21 steals suit me just fine otherwise.

I also added Jonny Gomes, he of the 4 homers last week, so I've got a bit of a log-jam and need to play match-ups to juggle the OFs.

Statistically, you'll have to expect it'll take Upton a while to get used to big league pitching. Strategically, you've gotta put your claim in. He's got that much potential. Don't believe me? Check out the ooohs and aaahs from this guy!

BTW, here's a great story about the Upton brothers from USA Today a few years ago. Reminds me of myself and my brother. Without the signing bonuses.

Double Your Pleasure

Doubleheaders will be played today in Texas, Chicago, and Seattle. Batting averages could take a hit, but in roto leagues, doubleheaders mean twice the opportunity for those coveted cumulative stats like steals, homers, rbi, and runs.

Given that, I went out this morning and added the recently-hot Brad Wilkerson, figuring he's got two decent chances to hit another homer in that humid and bouyant Texas air. To add Wilkerson, I dropped Saltamacchia, who isn't playing every day now that Minnie Minoso... I mean Satchell Paige... I mean Julio Franco is in town. (Speaking of which, anybody notice that Rick Sutcliffe hinted at steroids when he was at the plate? He certainly looks the part, and it'd explain a lot.)

I also dropped Alex Gordon, who was to face Wang in a tough match-up in NY, in favor old friend Brandon Inge, who always seems to be available on the waiver wire when I need him. Incidentally, Inge is up to .244 and is projecting to 21 hrs, 80 rbi, and 9 steals. In other words, his 0-for-April notwithstanding, he's exactly where we would've expected at the beginning of the year.

Some other things to remember in doubleheaders. Your closer may not get 2 chances to save games so it's a good day to own a team's main holder -- the set-up guy might get a chance to show his stuff in the ninth inning for a change. Also, your catcher won't play both games, and superstars might get a rest in game two (or game one, depending on the match-up).

Lester and Gabbard: Wins on the Waiver Wire

Jon Lester, who last pitched in the bigs on August 23rd of last season, will make his triumphant return from cancer tomorrow night for the Red Sox. In fact, no sooner had I just said aloud to my girlfriend that we may never see Lester come up because Kason Gabbard has been so effective, Don & Jerry told me Lester was starting tomorrow!

I quickly got back into my ESPN league and made the appropriate add/drop -- for the 2nd time this season. I had previously picked Lester up on May 30th, thinking he was a lock to come up and replace Julian Tavarez as the Sox #5 starter. Besides the feel-good aspect of course, I truly believed he could pick up some much needed Ws for my Flyin' Squirrels. (Lester was 6-2 last season.)

But Tavarez got on a roll, and Lester struggled at Pawtucket -- most notably struggling after he was not called up when pretty much everyone expected him to replace the injured Curt Schilling. Interestingly, Sox manager Terry Francona as much as admitted that was a factor. "I think he had some frustrations while he was there,'' Francona said. "He had to fight through wanting to be here and pitching there."

Then Gabbard came up instead, and after stinking up Seattle June 26th, he's strung together 4 increasingly impressive starts and looks to be a decent pick-up in deep leagues himself.

Certainly any starting pitcher on Sox is a good bet for the elusive Ws so sought-after in roto leagues. But even when he was pitching well, Tavarez was never a good fantasy option because he didn't pitch deeply into games and garnered more ground-balls than strikeouts. Lately he's been garnering more hits and walks (51 in 23 1/3 IPs) than outs of any kind.

The call-ups of Gabbard and now Lester gives fantasy owners two opportunities to buy starting pitchers on the team with the best record in baseball. Lester's call up was a bit of a surprise announcement, but reports are that Schilling will spend a little more time rehabbing in Pawtucket, giving both young lefties a chance to shine in Fenway in the coming weeks.

Down on the Farm

It was raining Cats and Dogs last night in Manchester. (The Cats being the AA affiliate of Toronto Blue Jays and the Sea Dogs being the Boston Red Sox farm club.) Actually the rain was light... The game was played under a persistent mist with temps in the low 60s... In other words, a typical April evening in July.

As I am wont to do, being the fantasy baseball addict that I am, I like to watch these games with an eye toward the future. My future. Like, who on this field could be helping my Flyin' Squirrels in a couple years?!

Unfortunately, my two best prospects have performed so well this season that they were promoted to Triple A before I could get a chance to see them in my home state. They are OF Jacoby Ellsbury and RHP Clay Buchholz.

Ellsbury, in fact, got all the way to the Show, filling in last month with the big club and chipping in admirably. In 16 at-bats, he had 6 hits, scored 3 runs, drove in 1, and had a steal. He demonstrated his tremendous speed by coming home all the way from 2nd on a wild pitch. Perhaps most impressive however was the fact that he didn't strike out once. With Coco Crisp, Wily Mo Pena, and J. D. Drew all under-performing this season, there's considerable buzz about bringing Ellsbury back sooner rather than later. A center-fielder with tools, he's most commonly compared to Johnny Damon, sans the long mane and beard. And Baseball America has him rated as the Sox top prospect. Definitely one to keep an eye on, especially if the Sox deal Pena or Crisp before the trading deadline.

Buchholz, meanwhile, is an ace in waiting. He's too skinny yet (6-3, 190) and only 23 as of next month. He can bring it in the 90s, but his real weapon is a 12-6 curve that "Buchholz" the knees of opposing batters. The lanky righty is sometimes mentioned in the same breath as Chris Carpenter, who is was announced today is undergoing Tommy John surgery and is out until next year's All-Star break. Maybe we should find another comparison pitcher? In the film I've seen, he looks more like Bronson Arroyo, only with the curve instead of a slider. Check these stats from Portland: 1.77 ERA, 116 Ks, and 22 walks in 86 2/3rds. Yow! ESPN's Nate Ravitz loves him.

Who did I get to see? 2005 first-rounder Jed Lowrie was at second and he looked good. He's got potential, as evidenced by his mention here on ESPN. Lowrie leads the team in HRs, RBI, total bases, and walks. The guy I thought looked the best, however, was 3B Chad Spann. He scorched the ball every time he was up, handled everything hit his way smoothly, and just carried himself with the confidence of a ballplayer who's going places. Little did I realize, he was going places -- he just got sent back down to Portland last week after struggling (.222, only 17 RBI) in Pawtucket. But he was an Eastern League All-Star last season with the Dogs, and he's hitting .320, so I wouldn't be surprised to see him back up in Pawtucket by the end of the year.

On the Fisher Cats side of the diamond, I was most impressed with the big, lefty 1B Chip Cannon. He had 27 homers last year and has 15 so far this year, including one last night.

And on the lighter side, my group and I did a double-take when we heard the name "Beau Vaughan" on the PA. Did they just say Mo Vaughn?!!! Then we did a triple-take when we looked up at the scoreboard for his picture. Instead of the bald-pated, pirate-earring-wearing former Sox MVP, we saw this!

Yikes. Beau? Keep the name but lay off the caffeine, man!

Berkman (another homer today!) continues to hit for me, but replacing Lowell at third is proving a challenge. That said, welcome to the newest Siamese Flyin' Squirrel: Josh Fields. I happened to spot that he hit a homer in the ridiculous 20-14 game between the Vikings and Bears today. (The football joke is even more apropos when you learn Fields was a two-year starting quarterback at Oklahoma State.) Anyway, that's 3 bombs in a week for those of us scoring at home, and we want in on that hot streak. My incumbent rookie 3B, Kevin Kouzmanoff, has cooled lately to the point where when I saw Fields breaking out, I grabbed him. The Kouz provided 6 homers and his BA for me (.256) is .35 better than his season BA. Like Kouz, Fields had a brutal start to the season, but as you can see, if you play your cards right, you can take the hot streak stats from these rookies and leave their slump stats on the waiver wire.

Shortstops in Short Supply

I've got a problem. I've been holding Stephen Drew -- Arizona's #1 draft pick and J.D. Drew's little brother -- as my shortstop pretty much all year. He's highly touted, but he's not producing. Like, at all. But he's looked good to scouts, and he looked good to me when the Sox played the Diamondbacks. The prevailing wisdom on him is that he's due to break out any minute. He's swinging well; the hits just aren't falling. That sort of thing.

But now I see another highly touted prospect on the FA waiver wire: Atlanta's Yunel Escobar. He's a Cuban defector -- came over on a little boat in the middle of the night -- so he's got the testicular fortitude. He's already produced, hitting .310 with a homer, 16 runs scored and 8 RBI in only 87 ABs.

By contrast, Drew: 4 hrs. 3 steals. .238 BA. In 280 ABs! In a word, that's "ewwww."

But if I give up on Drew now, you know he will go on an unholy tear. >:-|

So unable to pull the trigger on that FA deal, I distracted myself by adding Dan Johnson, who hit 3 homers last week AFTER I considered adding him. D'oh! I dropped Brandon Inge, who has lost playing time due to a minor injury. I dropped Justin Germano and added Manny Corpas, who should be in line for some saves now in Colorado.

The Trade

In 17 games since I acquired him, Lance Berkman is 22 for 67, with 6 homers, 17 RBI, and a steal. He's hitting .328. (By contrast, Berkman hit 8 homers the whole rest of the season for his previous team.) Meanwhile, Mike Lowell has only played 11 games (thumb is bothering him) with a homer and is only hitting .244. Hasn't helped the bottom line yet though -- he's still in 3rd and I'm in 6th.

Something to Wine About
Went to Pic-n-Pay yesterday for a quick shop, and happened to spot this in the wine section!


I bought a bottle of Manny Being Merlot, onaccounta my girlfriend loves Manny and she loves red wine. I brought it home and got the expected reaction -- best described as a smiling gasp --
and I popped the question: Keep or Drink? ("Keep, duh!") Although, these are from Chile and they're supposedly quite good, especially for the price ($11.99!)

I don't know how I missed this until now. My dad runs a wine store and this story made the Globe and ABCNews.

I might have to get a few more bottles for posterity -- in and around Boston, they're already selling out. The 3 of them are on eBay together at a bid of $72. The company produced 23,000 cases -- that's only about 275,000 bottles. This has "good investment" written all over it. And its for a good cause, too!

Oh, Schmidt

I had attempted to deal Jason Schmidt earlier in the week, hoping someone would take him for their DL slot in the hopes of him coming back later in the season. But today, we found out he's done for the season... Some kind of surgery... Torn labrum... Frayed ligaments or something... I don't know, my eyes glazed over and I stopped reading. I went into a kind of shock temporarily... The kind of shock you only get when one of your key players goes down with season-ending injury. It's like... "Well, shit."

Season line on Schmidt: 1 W, 6.31 ERA, 1.79 WHIP, and approximately 15 UGHs. At least he gave me 22 Ks.

Schmidt was a pretty fair bet, I figured in the pre-season, in a pitcher's park like Dodger Stadium, to be a Cy Young candidate. So this is a huge blow for the Squirrels. But it could be worse; I could be the Dodgers GM who gave him a $47 million contract. He should've let the Giants keep him.

WHIP'd Cream on Top

My plan to lower my WHIP turned out to be fairly genius. All Jeremy Guthrie did was go 8 innings allowing only 4 hits and a walk. The W was a nice bonus. And the 9 Ks? That's like jimmies on the whipped cream! BTW, this kid is for real. His 2.42 ERA is 2nd and his 0.89 WHIP is best in the AL. And I found him on the waiver wire? And he's still only 27% owned? Next start will be a test vs the Yankees (Tuesday, June 26). I think I'll keep him and see what happens.


His opponent, Justin Germano, had a rough first inning, then showed the mettle to settle down. His WHIP for the game ended up a 1.17, which actually raised his season WHIP to 0.96. His 7 Ks were a season-high surprise. I think I'll keep him, too.

Offensively, everybody in my line-up had at least one hit (.422) and 2 steals from Ichiro, who's running wild lately. I got a save from Alan Embree, who's better than everybody thinks.

As of this writing, I've moved up 2 places in WHIP, which has translated into a move from 6th to 4th in the league.

All in all, not a terrible day, considering I lost my 5th draft pick.

WHIP It, WHIP It Good!

Time to kick it old-school, Devo-Style. Break out the red plastic flowerpot hats everybody!

See, I have a WHIP problem. My ERA has been as good as 2nd in the league for much of the year (it's down to 5th now) but my WHIP has remained in 2nd to last. That's a big divergence. Everybody else in the league is ranked nearly the same in the two categories, except the Ticks, who get 12 points for their WHIP and only 5 for their ERA. I can offer no explanation for this anamoly, except to assume it will even out in the end. Meanwhile, I'm WHIP hunting in an attempt to mitigate my position.

Among pitchers with any kind of innings, relievers dominate the WHIP leaderboard. I see names like Putz (0.64), Soriano, Neshek, Betancourt, Isringhuasen, Saito, Shields, Okijima, Hoffman, and Fuentes. Now kids, what do these all have in common? That's right, they're all relievers! (The first starter you see when sorting by WHIP is Danny Haren, (0.88). I'm not likely to pry him away in a trade.)

Good news here is that I own Neshek and Okijima. Bad news is, I'm still 2nd to last in the category. Jason Schmidt, Felix Hernandez, and other struggling starters have really dug me a hole, and it's clear that, although helpful, Neshek and Okijima aren't going to be able to fix my problem an inning at a time.

I had added Casey Janssen last week, hoping for a vulture W or save along with his superb ERA and WHIP (both are 0.97!), but as a shortman, he's not helping, and at 3% ownership, he's expendable. I've also got Ryan Doumit, who I like for his power, average, and C eligibility, but he's not been playing consistently and is 1% owned. These guys I can drop for two spot starters.

We're looking for sleeper starters on the waiver wire with super-low WHIPs. Here's what I found:

IP H ER BB K W ERA WHIP Owned
Jeremy Guthrie, Bal 73.2 55 21 13 47 3 2.57 0.92 18.7%
Justin Germano, SD 42.0 34 11 5 17 5 2.36 0.93 13.5%

Guthrie I've been watching out of the corner of my eye, and Germano has already made one spot start for me, so I've already done my homework on them. I added both without hesitation for their upcoming starts, which happen to be today. Against each other. In San Deigo. Yes, if you see my light on at 1AM, you'll know I'm watching Baseball Tonight for highlights of the late games!

Ongoing Obsessive Post-Trade Analysis:
Berkman is 7 for 23 with 4 runs scored, a .304 BA, and (inexplicably) a steal thus far for the Squirrel Squad.

Lowell is 6 for 29, 3 runs scored, a homer, 3 RBI, and a .207 BA for the Tick-Killers.

The TKs remain atop of the standings, while I remain in 6th some 15 points behind. But I'm only 3 homers away from passing him in that category. Of course, without the trade, I'd be 1 homer behind. Oh well, it's still early.

My Season Starts Today

Today, June 11, is the beginning of the rest of my fantasy baseball season. Sure, we've been playing for 11 weeks. But this could be a turning point. My season could be made or broken on this date. What better time to start my hotly-anticipated, long-planned, much-procrastinated fantasy blog?

See, last week, I made a trade offer to the Tick-Killers, a multi-player offer that included Mike Lowell. I knew he needed a 3B -- I mean, seriously, Mark DeRosa?! -- and I was interested in trying to do a buy-low/sell-high deal for slumping slugger Lance Berkman. He countered with an e-mail containing essentially a standing offer: "Thanks but no thanks, however, I'd do Lowell for Berkman straight up whenever you want to submit it."

My first reaction was an impulsive one: "Wow! Really?!" I wanted to jump on it but quick before he changed his mind!

But I had to do my due diligence.

Let's check the pre-season draft value. Berkman was his 2nd overall pick, drafted 18th overall. Lowell was my 23rd pick, 291st overall. Yikes. This is even better than I thought!

But I still hesitated. As a die-hard Red Sox fan, I'd watched Lowell every day on NESN produce at a prodigious rate for me all season long. I'd grown attached to him. He'd even been part of one of my all-time favorite moments in baseball, when the Sox hit back-to-back-to-back-to-back homers. What's better than the Sox hitting 4 homers in a row? Hitting 4 homers in a row against the Yankees. What's even better than that? Owning 3 of them in one fantasy league, and the other in another! Thus far, Lowell had given me 11 homers, 46 RBI, and a .312 batting average. Berkman, OTOH, had woefully underperformed to date: 8/37/.250.

From a needs basis, Tick-Killers were in first place and has a plethora of power-hitting 1B -- Sexon, Delgado, Berkman, and he just picked up DL'd Lyle Overbay. He was dealing from strength. In 5th place, I had Kevin Kouzmanoff -- a "can't-miss" rookie who had been doing a lot of missing thus far -- at 1B/3B, and if I did the deal, I would need to add a 3B from free agency to fill the 3B void left by Lowell. 1B offered no reasonable alternatives on the wire. 3B Brandon Inge, he of the grotesque .050 BA for me to start the season, was starting to hit and represented my best option on the waiver wire. Maybe he'd get the chance to redeem himself with the Squirrels? It wasn't a no-brainer, that's for certain.

Next, and most importantly, I evaluated their potential for production for the rest of the season. This, of course, was the most -- really, the only -- salient issue at hand. Let's go to the stats. Turns out Berkman has averaged 34 homers, 114 RBI, and .301 over the course of his career. Being an AL guy, that's better than I expected. No wonder he went 18th in the draft! Lowell, to his credit, has averaged a very respectable 23/95/.275. Nothing to sneeze at, but not exactly Berkman level stuff. A little quick 5th grade math -- hey, I'm an English major for crissakes, no complex algorithms for me -- and it seems I could reasonably expect 12 more dingers, another 48 RBI, and a decrease in batting average from Lowell. Not bad, but in order to reach his career average, Berkman could put up serious numberage: 26 HRs, 77 RBI, and a whopping +.50 points of batting average.

Still, I was pulling on my beard whiskers over this deal. What if I'm giving up a bird-in-hand for a turkey-in-the-bush? Berkman could be having a down year, and what I see now is what I'm going to get. Then, reviewing his profile for the 12th time, I noticed something else of interest. His birthday. February 10, 1976. He was born on my 9th birthday! Mere months, in fact, after Carlton Fisk had hit the homer in the '75 World Series -- at the time, the galvanizing event of my life thus far. Was it a sign? Damn right it was! (No one ever accused me of being Vulcan.)

I logged in and sent the offer, Lowell for Berkman, straight up.

Over the weekend, as we waited for the deal to process, it came out that Lowell had a strained ligament in his thumb and had been playing though the injury. That explained his recent 2-20 skid. Meanwhile, Berkman was about to be suspended for a temper tantrum. Both players had issues, but neither was a deal-breaker. Nobody in the league protested a veto, if they even paid any attention at all.

The deed was done. My season has begun.