Benching Pats in the Blizzard

Well, I don't know about you, but I'm sitting here in Portsmouth NH looking out the window at this wicked Nor'Easter and thinking, "Yikes, I'm benching my Pats in fantasy football today." Of course for me, that only means Donte Stallworth, who I might've benched anyway since he's been eclipsed by Jabar Gaffney lately.

Maybe we'll get to see scenes like this one again today? God how I love snow games!

Oh, but I did also pick up Rodney Harrison based on his reemergence last week. He has always been a tackle-hound and a ball-hawk, and he's one Patriot I'm not benching. I'll play him in favor of Ellis Hobbs, who I still love, but without the kickoff return yardage, not so much. Anyway, I've got a hunch Harrison pops a ball loose and/or picks one up in the Winter Wonderland today.

Oh and speaking of HGH, let's talk briefly about...

The Mitchell Report

I always thought George Mitchell should've run for president. I have been a long-time fan of his politics, diplomacy, and grandfatherly/professorial demeanor. Despite all the obstacles he faced -- namely, hardly anybody would talk to him -- he put together a nice little report. The best part for me was his nailing of Fat Roger to the cross. When I heard he was a juicer, I was thrilled! Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. Bill Simmons feels vindicated, at least as much as Dan Duquette does. (For a brilliant, blow-by-blow explanation of Red Sox Nation's loathing of our once-favorite son, check out this Simmons piece from 2001.) Anyway, Roger's juicing sure explains a lot, like how his body went from flabby to buff after he left Boston, and how his stats got *better* as he aged (see Bonds, Barry), and why he threw so many hissy-fits on the field (e.g., inexplicably throwing Piazza's broken bat back at him).

Also interesting were the memos from Theo and his staff on Gagne and Donnelly (they're Juice Guys) were reprinted here in the Globe.

And the other interesting thing I took from the whole Mitchell Report thing was how Jose Canseco, juicer-cum-whistleblower, reacted. (Canseco was the first to float Clemens name as a ragin'-'roider, by the way.) Canseco said he was "shocked" that A-Rod's name was not in the report. But really, Clemens AND A-Rod getting taken down in one fell-swoop?! Following a World Series victory, I'm not sure Red Sox Nation could handle that level of joy!